Chicks Dig Jerks - Bill Hicks
Hitler had Eva Braun, Manson had squeaky fraun, Ted Bundy got lots of dates, I wonder what i'm doing wrong, I don't pretend to understand womens little quirks, Just one thing I know for sure, Chicks dig jerks, If I meet one more single mom, Whose true love had up and gone, Tells me on her trailer porch, 'bout that man still carries a torch, Sure he came home drunk each night, Beat the kids and her in a fight, But man she loves him so, Its so hard to let him go, I don't pretend to understand womens little quirks, Just one thing I know for sure, Chicks dig jerks, I'm sure theres some out there that can relate, Take the young man without a date, Sees some jerk some fine fine babe go driving away, Well is that a new bruise you've got on you, What does it say that he loves you, Sure he beats you but afterwards he cries, Oh baby, I could die, Honey I don't think thats anything to be proud of, I think its called alcoholism, I don't think you should move away, Stay with him 'till you're in your grave, You're so sweet, Can't we just be friends?, I think of you as a brother, Oh man, You're hurting me, What do I have to offer you baby, Poetry and true love, Thats not enough I know for sure, You need someone to throw you through the door, I don't pretend to understand womens little quirks, Just one thing I know for sure, Chicks dig jerks, Chicks dig jerks so true, Tell you man be mean to 'em, They'll never leave you, Chicks dig jerks, Just ignore 'em act like they're not there, Man you're going to be pulling them out of your hair, They love that, Act like you don't care, Aw look at them everywhere, They come running', Tired of being a good guy, Such a lonely life, I'm going to be a jerk, Step on lots of toes, Girls gonna go crazy for that guy, Baby I'm gonna act like I don't even know you, Not gonna return one of your calls, Oh I hear she's already at the door, Man, she's intrigued by my indifference, I'm a jerk and its working out...
You could also try looking for the hopelessly desperate and mildly psychotic. They'll latch onto anyone. Thus is the theory of the PsychoHoseBeast .