Ultima/poetry

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<braingrind> speak of the homo <Ulti> ¬____¬ <Ulti> braingrind if I was homosexual would I be writing a LOVE poem to a girl? <aimaz> anal chemo girl? <Ulti> no <Ulti> jeees aimaz that was so last year <aimaz> well who is the new apple of your eye? <Ulti> a GIRL <braingrind> 1. Chapter 1: Lost in the Forest of the Gnomes <Ulti> get with the program


ADD POETRY BELOW


<aimaz> "ulti: roses are #ff0000 violets are #0000ff just cut the crap and get in my bed"
<parag0n> aimaz, you'd have to start it "violets are blue, roses are red"

<parag0n> "Roses are red, Anime is awesome, If you were naked, i think you'd look pornsome"

<aimaz> if your eyes were bigger and your hair was as expressive as your face and I always got in awkward situations with you in various states of undress it would be just like my favourite episode of love hina (modern poetry doesn't rhyme)

<parag0n> rosed are red, violets are blue, all my bases, are belong to you

<aimaz> you should just write any old crap
<aimaz> then translate it into saxon english

<parag0n> Roses are red, violets are blue, Please please please please, can i shag you?

<Ulti> yeah I think this one would like if I carved her effigy onto a fairy galleon and sailed up to her window reciting words in a dead language but I cant pull that off easily
<aimaz> so do your best
<aimaz> make a boat out of cardboard
<Ulti> I guess I could make a boat hat out of newspaper
<aimaz> you need to be in the boat
<Ulti> I havent got that much newspaper
<Ulti> OR I could open up Word and write nonsense with the word rose in it a couple of times
<aimaz> Ulti, any twat can do that
<Oliver> but if you built a boat, at worst she's gonna think you're mildly amusing

<Oliver> Roses are red, pickles are green, i love your legs and what lays between

<Oscar Levant> Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

<Poet> Roses are red, violets are blue, I hear you give good head, can I have a go too?
<Poet> Roses are red, violets are blue, I want to be fed, please make me stew.
<Poet> Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem has ended. (because I need the loo)
<Poet> Roses are red, violets are blue, my dick bled, wanking over you.
<Poet> Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't care if you're dead, there's nothing I wont do.
<Poet> Roses are red, violets are blue, tonight behind the bikeshed, around quarter pass two.
<Poet> Roses are red, violets are blue, want a lump of lead? I have a few. (shaped like flowers because women that like heavy metal are hot)
<Poet> Roses are red, violets are blue, "more more" is what you said, as I coverred you in goo.
<Poet> Roses are red, violets are blue, come on lets wed, unless you're a jew.

<braingrind> 1. Chapter 1: Lost in the Forest of the Gnomes

<braingrind> As I explored the forest I met a Gnome.
<braingrind> His face was crooked and he had not a hair.
<braingrind> I smiled and politely asked him how to get home.
<braingrind> He span around and ran away screaming "A bear!".

<braingrind> I fell to the ground and cried in defeat.
<braingrind> When a Girl Gnome emerged and said "Poor thing!".
<braingrind> I reached out and grabbed her then tore of her feet.
<braingrind> Woefully she groaned while she lay there dying.

<braingrind> With her immobile directions I'd receive.
<braingrind> In her last breath she cursed the one that killed her.
<braingrind> In my large arms I nursed her and asked how to leave.
<braingrind> Though she did not answer and left to meet her builder.

<braingrind> I stood in the forest frightened and alone.
<braingrind> The first Gnome returned now with a great crowd.
<braingrind> I jumped and fled as the army came for me to atone.
<braingrind> They chased him from the forest shouting "That's not allowed!".

<braingrind> 1. Chapter 2: Chased into the Desert of the Jew

<braingrind> Empty, barren the desert was clear
<braingrind> Epileptically I shivered in fear
<braingrind> Even the gnomes would not near

<braingrind> This desert favours not the bold
<braingrind> Thoughtfully I hid away all my gold
<braingrind> The Jew lives here or so it is told

<braingrind> Shifting sands lets no one pass
<braingrind> Surely shall I require a compass
<braingrind> Some Jews emerge each riding an ass

<braingrind> Chaotic heat turns all to dust
<braingrind> Comercially leave here if I must
<braingrind> Crafty Jew took what does not rust

<braingrind> Now equiped to navigate, took my bearings, crossed the dune, didn't get out till way passed noon.

<braingrind> 1. Chapter 3: Trapped in the nightmare of Avril Lavigne (see W. Al)

<braingrind> Uh huh, yeh, I need a piss
<braingrind> Uh huh, uh huh, then I'll do it on this
<braingrind> Cause I need a piss
<braingrind> Uh huh, uh huh then I'll do it on this

<braingrind> Spill out wow that's smelling poor?
<braingrind> Way back it's all been to long in the store
<braingrind> And if only earlier I'd done my pee
<braingrind> I still pee
<braingrind> I like to piss real far
<braingrind> When I'm playing guitar
<braingrind> Now I've gone for a pee but I still feel tight in the tum

<braingrind> Suddenly I frowned in extreme pain
<braingrind> To vacate my backside will take some laxative
<braingrind> I'm trying to use a tool if I could just pull it out
<braingrind> Smell it

<braingrind> Why'd I have to go and get myself all constapated?
<braingrind> I keep eating more than I can release it gets me so inflated
<braingrind> Strife I'm full of poo
<braingrind> And I fall and I crawl and I burst
<braingrind> and butt naked I spread my cheeks and soil a tree
<braingrind> and it misses the tree lands on a man it was a mistake
<braingrind> no no no

<braingrind> I went for a late night walk
<braingrind> Thought I'd go explore the farm
<braingrind> wonderred around the field and sat down
<braingrind> wearing a gown
<braingrind> All of a sudden the sheep all froze
<braingrind> a flying light was coming close
<braingrind> it was dancing and flying all around
<braingrind> making strange sounds
 
 
<braingrind> Something's not right everything's shrunk
<braingrind> Floating up trapped in an alien tractor beam
<braingrind> I'm trying to move to the floor not the door
<braingrind> Help me

<braingrind> Why I have to go and get myself all mutilated?
<braingrind> They keep poking me and injecting me with some liquid it gets me all sedated
<braingrind> thought I was a cow
<braingrind> and I bleed and I choke and I ache
<braingrind> and intake a huge probe it really burns deeply
<braingrind> begging them please stop it for God's sake
<braingrind> no no no

<braingrind> Fill it out all in the form
<braingrind> I'm so ugly I can't be a whore
<braingrind> And my parents want to disown me
<braingrind> Want to be free

<braingrind> Somewhere around here someplace near
<braingrind> I'll have to rent out an apartment or a bedsit
<braingrind> Went to an interview for a job and got rejected severly
<braingrind> Tell me

<braingrind> Why'd I have to go and get myself enmacipated?
<braingrind> I'm ugly with a face just like a pitbull with this I'm not going to get dated
<braingrind> Wifes can cook
<braingrind> But I can't stir can't grind can't even bake
<braingrind> so I make something from ingredients I mixed up carefully
<braingrind> strangely I cooked something but it certainly aint a cake
<braingrind> no no

<braingrind> Why I have to go and get exterminated?
<braingrind> I got in the way of a tin can with a plunger and it got me all disintergrated
<braingrind> Life's doesn't last
<braingrind> You glow and you cry and you evapourate
<braingrind> and if they see you and catch you there's no mercy
<braingrind> Callously they'll wipe us all out
<braingrind> no no no